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There is something seriously wrong with Lady Gaga. Seriously.
gazing at the lint in my twitter navel
Well I just figured you had so many followers because you’re just pure awesomeness. You may not be a big deal to some, but you are to us, your imaginary (yet not so imaginary) friends. :)So, someone said something today - and I don’t think he meant anything by it - but it was like poking a stick at a bear. A bear that has been sitting in my head for a while. A bear that was made (born?) because I’ve been hearing/reading for quite a few months now little snippets like “How does she have that many twitter followers” and “Who the hell is she?” and “I can’t believe she has more followers than x” and “It’s ridiculous that real comedians can’t get pushed by twitter but she did.”
Listen, I don’t know why twitter picked me as a recommended follow. It was a complete surprise. I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t seek it out (I didn’t even know such a thing existed) and when people ask me about my follower count I always use the word “inexplicable” to describe twitter’s decision to put me on that list.
I never pretended to be a comedian. I don’t even find myself the least bit funny on that kind of level. I never passed myself off as anything but me - a grown woman who likes to tweet about coffee, music, farts, sex, tampons and whatever else floats my boat at the moment. I’m not trying to get anywhere using twitter, I’m not trying to promote myself to anyone or for anything. I just want to have fun with twitter, much like the rest of you.
If you happen to be angry that I have all these followers, there’s nothing I can do about it. I will tell you it’s not as awesome as you think it may be. A lot of my followers are spam and porn bots. Many of them signed up for twitter and never used it again after that initial sign up. It’s not like having that many followers brings you fame or riches or book deals or tv shows, if that’s what you’re looking for. I mean, it’s twitter. It’s not like the New York Times is promoting you every single day and people are going to suddenly hail you as the next best thing. Christ, how did people promote themselves before twitter? I don’t know the answer to that because I’m not a self promoter. I have nothing to promote. I have nothing to prove to you or my followers or anyone else.
And I shouldn’t have to make apologies about having more followers than you or your favorite actor/comedian/singer/whatever, but I do, because that’s what I do. Who knows, maybe I have Canadian in my blood. I feel almost embarrassed by this now and just today I was making a joke about giving a golden tampon to my one millionth follower and that was a joke, people. I was sort of poking good natured fun at myself for having that many followers while telling tampon jokes, but I can see now that it’s those very jokes that aggravate people who are confused at how someone who is not famous or a professional in the entertainment industry can have the platform to tell her ridiculous jokes and bits about her work day to almost one million people a day, including spammers and pornbots and social media “experts” who never see one of my tweets.
People ask “who are you?” all the time. They want to know if I’m someone famous and they’re really disappointed when I’m not. This happens at least once a day. People are disappointed that I’m just me. I’m sure they unfollow when they find out I’m not anyone interesting or important to them.
So yea, this has been a blast. Sorry it didn’t go to someone more deserving. Now go poke some other bear with a stick. I’m going back to fart jokes and paying attention to the people I follow who hopefully don’t care that I’m not A Big Deal.
So what’s been going on with Sarah, you ask? Well let me tell you. I was diagnosed with Achilles tendonitis a couple months ago, and for the last month I have been wearing these splints on my feet at night. They are very uncomfortable, but seem to be helping. I also had a burst blood vessel in my cheek after a dentist visit for a filling a couple weeks ago. It was almost as painful as when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. On top of all that I’ve been sick for the last week and missed three days of work. I haven’t missed that much work from being sick since I had mono a couple years ago. And this was just a really bad head cold. It completely drained me, I slept most of the time I was home. So, now that I’m feeling better, hopefully nothing else will be thrown at me. 6 of my coworkers have had the swine flu, so I have that to be paranoid about. Hooray. Well that’s about it. Oh, and I’m back together with my man, and very happy. :) Holy crap, I almost spelled very with two r’s…I need to get out of the house…
Hi Tumblr!
Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything. My Tumblarity has been at 0 for who knows how long. And I say, meh. Anyhoo, how are you?
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My dear, you are adorable! :)I’m having one of those awesome days where I feel like I look really cute.
Don’t tell me if it’s not true.
Also, whoever decided to put pockets in skirts is my hero.
yhf:
I found out on Tuesday evening that my cousin Ryan is missing. He’s been gone since Sunday afternoon when he went for a walk with no wallet, no coat, and no ID. I’ve hesitated to post anything about it here on my blog because I don’t think I have any readers in the Burton/Flint area of Michigan. However, as more time has gone by without Ryan being found, I’ve decided that it can’t possibly hurt to put this picture out there in the off chance that it might fall upon the right set of eyes.
My cousin’s name is Ryan Standridge and he is the one in the center of the picture. According to his sister, his hair is currently in a bunch of little ponytails. If you’re in the mid-Michigan area, please notify the Burton police (810-742-2542) if you have any information which might help locate him.
